I have exciting news! I have finished and self-published, with Sheri’s help, my new book Tent Pegs: How to Live With More Strength and Stability. Usually, it takes me two years to research, write, and edit a book. This time is was only nine months. It was a quicker process this time because much less research was needed. This book comes more from my own life experience, rather than synthesizing others’ research and writings. I’d say it’s my most practical book so far. I hope you agree, and find something in it of use for your own life. Someone said of the book, “It’s a boots on the ground book.” YES!!

Tent Pegs is up on Amazon now. To find it, select ‘books’ in the search bar, and then enter Susan Gleeson Tent Pegs. That way you will be taken to the book, rather than to a wide selection of camping supplies!! You can also click on this link: https://a.co/d/4iHh4KF.

All the best to everyone as we approach the end of another summer. I hope you enjoy your Labour Day weekend, as we get ready to enter another busy, and hopefully, meaningful and fulfilling ‘new year’!

Lately, I have been reading a book called Wellsprings: A Book of Spiritual Exercises, written by Anthony De Mello. Father de Mello was a Jesuit priest, a psychotherapist, a spiritual teacher, a writer, and a public speaker. For me, the exercises he proposes we do are really intriguing. I think I will start tackling them this winter as contemplative journaling prompts. As I was skimming through the book I came across an exercise titled The Center. It begins this way:

“ I imagine that I walk into a desert place. I spend some time exploring the surroundings, then settle down to contemplate my life. I see how frequently I rush outside myself —to people, occupations, places, things—in search of strength and peace and meaning, forgetting that the source of all is here within my heart. It is here that I must search” (31). He then presents a series of things to ponder, beginning with this one:

“Each person carries thoughts that have the power to bring instant peace. I search for mine” (31).

WOW! That stopped me dead in my tracks. For sure, I carry thoughts that have the power to bring instant peace, but I have never thought of them that way, nor taken the time to list them. I stopped to begin to think about what they are, and to list them. I think once we take the time to list these thoughts, and really be consciously aware of them, they will become a huge source of strength for us during times of confusion, chaos and trouble. The thought I came up with first was:

1) No matter how uncertain at any given moment I might feel about the truth of this, I do know for sure that each and every path I take, and have taken, leads me to the center.”

That’s why I gave this blogpost the title ‘P.S.’ I realized yet again why I love walking a labyrinth so much. Every time I do, I am comforted and reminded that in my life, all paths I have taken have led me to the center. No experience is lost; I think we can grow, and learn from every experience we have, even the most painful ones.

Hallelujah!

For about two years, I have wanted to visit a labyrinth that is located not too far from my home, about twenty minutes away in the countryside near Ennismore. I love walking a labyrinth. No matter how many twists and turns a labyrinth path has, you know for sure you will always end up in the centre. This is what differentiates a labyrinth from a maze, which is meant to confuse us, and has many dead ends.

Today, I finally made it to the labyrinth near Ennismore. It was a beautiful eleven circuit labyrinth, a full replica of the labyrinth located in Chartres Cathedral in France. As I walked, I felt more and more at ease and settled. I noticed the times I was facing away from the centre, on the outmost circuit, and felt so happy to know that despite that, I was going to eventually end up in the centre. What a metaphor for the twists and turns of life we experience, and the times when we feel we might be off course, and far from being centred and on track.

Mrs. Deslauriers came out to welcome me and invited me to go on a walk through the woods to the secret garden she and Mr Deslauriers created, with the help of the Ennismore horticultural society. It was a magical, comforting, joyful time. To get directions to this labyrinth, go to the world-wide labyrinth locator website and enter ‘Ennismore’. No matter where you are when you are reading this, you can go to this website and find the labyrinth located near to you.

Enjoy!!

I am an avid follower of Abbey of the Arts, an online abbey located in Ireland. The abbess, Christine Valters Paintner, has written many beautiful and helpful books about the intersection between spirituality and the expressive arts. Christine takes a break for the month of July each year, and I eagerly await her return each August. Today’s weekly newsletter did not disappoint! It included a schedule of all her planned online workshops and retreats for the year ahead, and I have already signed up for one!!

The other lovely news was that Christine is releasing a new book called A Midwinter God: Encountering the Divine in Seasons of Darkness. This book will be released on September 16th, but can be pre-ordered on Amazon now. It will be addressing the topic of grief, so it is of special interest to me during this year of grieving my mom’s passing.

If you haven’t heard of Abbey of the Arts, I invite you to take a look at their website. It appeals especially to people who are monks and artists, or who would like to be!! Check out www.abbeyofthearts.com if you are interested!

And all the best to everyone as we enter into August!

I had a lovely visit by phone with a friend this morning. She told me that she’s feeling very content these days. Isn’t contentment such a beautiful word? And isn’t it wonderful she could describe her life as contented? After we got off the phone I started to reflect on what I would say I need to feel contented with my life. Here are some things that came to mind:

1) To love and be loved.

2) To have meaningful work/projects to do.

3) To have a good book on the go, and a good book ahead.

What are some of the things you need in your life to be able to enjoy a feeling of contentment in your mind, body, emotions and spirit?

Regarding good books, I’d like to recommend some new to me authors who write what I would call ‘ beach reads’. These are feel good, encouraging, easy reads. My local librarian wasn’t familiar with any of these authors, so in case you are looking for some new authors in the ‘beach read’ category, here are a few!

1) Leigh Duncan.

Leigh is an American author. She’s won a number of awards for womens’ fiction. I am making my way through her Sugar Sand Inn series right now. They describe the struggles of a group of four women who are working together to get a new inn up and running. Nothing happens that would disturb your sleep, and the description of the friends’ relationships with each other is endearing and encouraging.

2) Jean Grainger

Jean is a very prolific Irish author. She seems to be able to work on several series at once. I have read some or all of The Tour series, the Robinswood series, and most recently the Mags Munroe series. Mags is a policewoman in a small village in Ireland. I found reading about her experiences really interesting and enjoyable. Again, Jean’s books are great bedtime reading.

3) Susanne O’Leary

Susanne is another Irish author. Her novels are set mostly in County Kerry. I have read most of her Starlight Cottage series and the Sandy Cove series. They describe events and relationships in a small village in Ireland. The settings are spectacular. Again, no worries about reading these books just before you fall asleep at night!

Enjoy!

Happy June!

Wow, wow, wow! Last night I got to see Bruce Cockburn in concert. What an inspiring, magical experience it was! He turns 79 on Monday, yet once again, he put on an amazing show. I think this is the tenth time I have seen him perform live, spanning 45 years of my life, since I was a young medical student. He came out on the stage, walking very slowly, supported on two canes. He was hunched over and his hands were full of osteoarthritis, yet he was full of life, feisty, and irreverent. YAY!

The first half of the concert I thought, “Oh no, he’s not as good as he used to be. That’s so sad, but understandable.” But when he came out for the second set, suddenly, his fingers were flying, his voice was soaring, and he was able to move all of us profoundly with his musicianship, his voice, his humour, and his indomitable spirit. Following the second set he hobbled off the stage, but after a lot of cheering, he came back and did a three song encore, and we were moved even more deeply. I have a lot to think about regarding this experience. Here are a couple of my early takeaways:

1) He’s still a committed activist, but he’s also spending significant time looking fearlessly ahead towards his death, preparing for it in his own way. His latest CD, O Sun, O Moon, is a beauty. My favourite song is Into the Now. I love the final chorus:

“End of it all, End of it all. See if I get there at the end of it all. Honey from God, honey from God. Love trickles down like honey from God. Into the now, into the now, out of the armour and into the now.”

2) He inspires me to be all that I can be in my next 10 years. I am 69, he is 79. May I be as committed to what I know to be my purpose, as he has been to his in the past 10 years. On his website he says, “Part of the job of being human is just to try to spread light, at whatever level you can.” Amen to that, and Go Bruce Go!

I got to enjoy the concert in the company of my two daughters, neither of whom have had the opportunity to see Bruce live before. We had a lovely dinner before the concert, as this was my Mother’s Day gift and activity with them. What pure joy it was to be in their company. Oh what a night! Woo hoo!

Mother’s Day has come and gone, and I made it! I never understood before why people dread the first birthday, or the first anniversary after their parent or loved one passes, but I do now. It turned out to be a sweet day, celebrating with those who were available to come over for dinner. The main thing about such events, I have found, is not to be alone, and to invite someone over who might not otherwise have an invitation on Mother’s Day- someone whose own mother has passed, for example. Mom did always say, “When you are feeling sad, lonely, or bored, look outside yourself and do something for someone else.” For me, those are very practical and useful words to live by.

I am continuing to journal through a series of questions that I have found in various books that are helping me to process Mom’s life and death. I came across some really hard hitting ones today. Whew! It is going to take some time for me to think about, write about, and generally process them. In case you would like to take a deep dive in this area of your life, here are a few journal prompts you can delve into:

1) How often are you still a dependent, judgmental, or needy child?

2) Where do you still seek to fit in, belong, and conform for your survival?

3) When are you self-aware, accepting of yourself, and impeccable?

4) Where and how are you living in harmony with self, life, and others?

Juicy, eh???!!!

Enjoy this beautiful Victoria Day!

Mother’s Day is coming up, and I have been dreading it, because it’s the first one since Mom passed away. I won’t be able to visit my Mom and take her favourite Swiss Chalet lunch to her, for us to enjoy together. I am feeling so sad about that.

I have been thinking some more about the gifts I received from Mom. I think my favourite gift was her listening ear. I remember being a teenager sitting at the end of her bed on Saturday mornings, telling her all about my week. Mom would be propped up on pillows, drinking coffee, and listening attentively. It meant so much to me that despite having four children, she made time for me on Saturday mornings. She was a great listener all her life, always curious and interested in what I was up to. My Nana was also a very good listener. She too would sit back with a cup of coffee when I came to visit, very willing to hear all about my week.

One of my daughters texted me today to let me know that she was at a meeting this morning where people were invited to share memories of their mothers. Imagine my surprise when she shared, ‘I talked about Saturday mornings, sitting on your bed, pouring out my heart to you, as you sat drinking coffee.’ Wow!! It sent a shiver down my spine to think that the gift of listening, cup of coffee in hand, was successfully passed down the generations!!

I will be thinking of Nana, Mom, myself, Martha, and Joanna, and the bond of listening that connects us all. Though not being able to be with Mom on Mother’s Day is definitely going to hurt, I am so grateful for these precious memories, which i think are going to help!

Good morning! Spring is progressing well in Southern Ontario. The leaves are just about to burst forth. It’s been so encouraging for everyone’s mind, heart, and soul to see this!

Recently, on my office bookshelf, I found a book called The Mother Loss Workbook: Healing Exercises for Daughters. Although it is a book written for women who lost their mothers when they were children or teenagers, I have found most of the exercises are applicable, or I can easily adapt them, to suit my situation. So far, I have written about the details of my own childhood and adolescence, and about what I know about my Mom’s childhood, adolescence and adult life before and after meeting my Dad. Next, I wrote about the relationship between my Mom and me. The journal prompts really helped me to flesh out the details of that relationship. The final prompts in that section were - Who was your mother to you? Who were you to her? Fascinating! Finally, I was invited to consider how my family operated, how my Mom and Dad related, and what our family’s values were.

This process has been like a mini Life Review. I love that there’s lots of space in the workbook to write out my answers to the prompts. It’s been comforting to pick the book up each morning and consider the next few questions.

One fascinating thing I have found is that now, when someone asks me about my Mom’s passing, I am feeling less emotionally affected. I seem to be able to answer a question using my mind, rather than coming solely from my heart. That’s been a good shift for me. It’s as though both my emotions and my mind need time to work through things, and I think the end result will be a healthier integration of everything. I have felt validated about the immensity of losing one’s Mother, and about the amount of processing required. I still feel that the best approach is slow and easy, gentle and spacious. Now I am at the point of beginning to enjoy the journey. That’s a great spot to be!

Good morning! Spring has finally arrived in southern Ontario! The birds are singing, the trees are budding, and the daffodils in my garden are in full bloom!

I realized today that on April 25th it will be three months since my mother passed away. What a three months it has been! I remember feeling weak as a kitten, disoriented and unable to control my tears for the first few weeks after Mom passed. Then the time came when I could talk about her passing without bursting into tears. Now, when I think about Mother’s Day coming, I am able to wonder, with my mind, as well as my emotions, how to celebrate it. I have written 200 pages in my journal! I have also been inspired to write a lot for my new book Tent Pegs: How to Live With More Stability and Strength. For sure, although talking about Mom and telling the story of her final illness and passing has been an important way to process her passing, writing has been my primary way to process her life, her impact on my life, and what I want to integrate of her, her life, and our relationship, as I continue forward.

Today I heard, for the first time, the lyrics of a song called Landslide. It was written in 1973 by Stevie Nicks, at a time of transition in her life. One verse particularly captured my attention:

O mirror in the sky, what is love?

Can the child within my heart rise above?

Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?

Can I handle the seasons of my life?

I heard this song while watching The Voice Knockouts on YouTube. It was performed by contestant Madison Curbelo. As she sang the line Can I handle the seasons of my life? something stirred deep within my soul. I realized, with a start, that I am handling this time of transition in my life. That was such a reassuring thought! Of course, I have definitely needed lots of people to listen and encourage and support me through the past three months of grief. But with that support, and with giving myself the gift of a lot of time and space to quietly and gently process, I am making it through.

Hallelujah!!